Missing
by Turned Tables
Summary: He doesn't care for me now. I sacrificed my own self, but he doesn't even want what we once were anymore. Still, I continue to sacrifice for him, but I'm not in his thoughts anymore. Isn't someone missing me? Saïx/Axel, Isa/Lea, Xemnas/Saïx, Axel/Roku


Saïx and Axel had a plan since they'd joined the Organization. They would stick together and only look out for each other as they worked their way through the Organization. All they wanted was their own hearts and lives back, the rest didn't matter. Until…_he_ came along. Axel and Saïx find themselves drift farther and farther apart, to where Saïx thinks he's doing everything he can for a man who doesn't even seem to miss their old lives anymore. As for Axel, Saïx is becoming more and more a stranger in his eyes. This fanfic was inspired by the song Missing by Evanescence, but it is **not** a songfic. The first chapter is of Saïx's point of view.

_**WARNING:**_This fanfic will contain yaoi, abuse, violence, and possible rape/torture. If you do not like such things, I suggest you do not read this fanfic.

_**PAIRINGS:**_Saïx/Axel, Isa/Lea, Xemnas/Saïx, and Axel/Roxas

_**DISCLAIMER:**_Kingdom Hearts I, II, Chain of Memories, 358/2 Days, Birth by Sleep and all of its characters within it are copyrighted to Square Enix and/or Disney which is not owned by me. I guess I should mention that the song Missing by Evanescence is not owned by me either.

**Chapter 1**

**Something Missing**

It's cold.

It use to be some time ago that I'd feel a warmth when those eyes, that use to shine a bright green, caught mine it's not the same now. I believe people with hearts call it ironic or funny that I felt a freeze through my form when being near the Flurry of Dancing Flames himself. I didn't show any discomfort in front of his presence, even though he was staring me down now.

"If you have any sense in you, you'll do as you're ordered, Number Eight." My voice was firm as my stare back. Stern and commanding. I could suppose it's a trait I picked up from our Superior since working with him. The fiery red head only narrowed his eyes at me, not backing down either. He was always the member, aside from our Superior, that never backed down from me. Axel knew full well he couldn't defeat me physically, but that never stopped him.

"I'm not doing this." I wasn't surprised that was his answer, especially after the events that he currently has been a part of. I cannot comprehend why he had done them, but it changed him. No, it didn't change him. The events had changed his desire, so to speak.

"It has been a direct order from our Superior and it is wise to-"

"And since when did you fully follow out with what Xemnas orders you to do?" Axel's sounded harsh when he cut me off. I was about to speak again, but of course the fiery red head beat me to it. "This isn't our plan. I've been waiting Saïx. I cleared the way for you a while back at Castle Oblivion, so why haven't you done the rest already?" To that I closed my eyes for just a moment, remembering full well what Axel had done so I could easily gain favor with the Superior without any suspicion from certain members who've been eliminated. That was first part of the plan, but…

'_You're the reason everything we've worked for has been lost.' _Is what I would've said to him, but I thought better of it.

"There has been a few…complications. The best plan right now, in order to not have the others suspect anything, is to do as the Superior-"

"I'm not doing this. I don't understand why you're supporting this either." Always the one to put up a fight, doing what you think is right. That's what you use to do for me, Lea.

"It's because-"

"Are the rumors true then?" There was a smug grin on the other Nobody's face. It was the smile he gave when he was degusted or had disbelief. "I guess Xigbar was right about what you're doing with _him_! Heh, I never would've suspect that you-"

"You know nothing!" I nearly snarled at him as I took a threatening step forward. I let his words get to me; it was a mistake on my part. Axel shook his head as he turned away from me, for it seems with that outburst, I confirmed his suspicion.

"I'll see you around, _Number Seven._" Even with that cocky tone he usually had, those last two words almost dripped with venom to them when spoken. I didn't bother trying to stop him as he faded into darkness. To where? I do not know anymore.

I had hoped he wouldn't have put up a fight about this latest mission, but it appears he wasn't going to listen this time. After what happened to our last puppet, he thinks that if we bring back our keybearer, that the boy will have a similar fate. It shouldn't matter to him if that is our plan for Number XIII or not, but it appears it does. Strange, that without a heart, he would be so defensive of a boy he had no past relation to when he had a heart.

'_He has chosen an illusion of a friendship.'_ If Isa were here, he'd surely break by this realization that he lost the only thing he cared about to another. Fortunately, I am not wavered by such a thought. The unfortunate thing for a person of my being, I cannot change the memories of what Isa once felt. It appears it'll be very hard for me not to continue with the original goal we've been striving for. Even without Axel, I'll still struggle to find a way to have our lives back. A pity that this is my weakness; Isa shouldn't have been so attached to that fool. It's time I get to work before it becomes any later.

* * *

_A boy is running in the dead of night through a desolate town, looking about frantically. He keeps looking, searching for someone or something. He rarely becomes panicked, but there was something off about this night. There was so much fear within the young man's eyes, trying his best to focus. He boy tries to shout out, but no sound escapes him. He ends up running again, unsure of what direction he's now heading towards. It's almost painful to watch the child in such a devastated state, but suddenly there's a light. A smile of relief is brought upon his lips as he runs towards the light, which seems to surround another boy. _

_A turn and a smile. That's all the boy in the light gives before he shatters and is replaced by malevolent darkness. A look of despair is upon the face of the boy who just stopped running. Looking around, he finds that now even the town is gone. Nothing is there, but darkness surrounding him. The boy is alone…no one with him or by his side anymore. Silent tears start to trickle down his cheeks as he bows his head. He finally finds his voice as he whispers to the abyss._

"_Isn't someone missing me?"_

_

* * *

_

I awoken suddenly in a cold sweat. It's the same dream I always have, ever since I became what I am now. They were usually vaguer in the past when we first joined the Organization, but recently, they've been very clear. I rub my face with my palm; these accursed dreams always gave me a headache. They were mentally vexing, something I'm not fond of. I find myself staring at my hand, an almost clawed deformed thing. Isa wasn't a monster, not like this. He was quiet and stern at times, even when he was a child, but at least he had a good intentions and kind side to him. Was this the reason? Is it because I'm a monster now that Lea…Axel has turned to another? Does he think I'll remain this way and never be back to the way I once was?

I find myself out of my bed and near my dresser. I quickly rummage through the drawers and pull out a pair of black gloves, quickly hiding my deformed hands in the thick leather. Then, I stare at the vanity mirror above the dresser. Just a pair of leather gloves weren't enough to hide that creature staring back at me. A dark shirt to hide the scars etched across my muscled chest, some old and new. Most I rather not remember. Our standard coat, which not only blends us to the darkness, but hides many secrets. In this case, to hide bruises and markings on my wrists and neck. This from the time I have gotten…out of control for the other members to handle. The last part I can still see of the monster is those glowing animalistic eyes. It is easily clouded by the cover of the coat's leather hood, hiding me completely what I am.

I dress this way, not because of Organization standards, but for him. To appear less of a monster, and for him to have the illusion that some of Isa still exists. Isa…it wasn't me doing this for him, it was what Isa would've wanted. I'm a slave to my old self to the end, even if the one person he's aiming to please and save doesn't care.

One day, he'll forget. Don't you realize this Isa?

* * *

I was quite bored of playing WoW one since and decided upon typing up my current favorite pairing within Kingdom Hearts. This took me maybe a few hours to type up. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. I'm actually starting the second right now. Read and Review.


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